129Why were the highly accomplished so dogged in their pursuits? For most, there was no realistic expectation of ever catching up to their ambitions. In their own eyes, they were never good enough. They were the opposite of complacent. And yet, in a very real sense, they were satisfied with being unsatisfied.
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130Grit scores bore absolutely no relationship to the whole candidate scores that had been so painstakingly calculated during the admissions process. In other words, how talented a cadet was said nothing about grit, and vice versa.
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131Whan I taught a lesson and the concept failed to gel, could it be that the struggling student needed to struggle just a bit longer?
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132You have made a convert out of an opponent in one sense. For I always maintained that, excepting fools, men did not differ much in intellect, only in zeal and hard work; and I still think this is an eminently important difference.
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133Talent x effort = skill.
Talent (arrow sloping to lower right) Achievement (skill x effort = achievement)
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134Superlative performance is really a confluence of dozens of small skills and activities, each one learned or stumbled upon, which has been carefully drilled into habit and then are fitted together in a synthesized whole. There is nothing extraordinary or superhuman in any one of these actions, only the fact that they are done consistently and correctly and all together, produce excellence.
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135If we can't explain how an athlete, musician, or anyone else has done something jaw-droppingly-amazing, we're inclined to throw up our hands and say "It's a gift! Nobody can teach you that!" In other words, when we can't easily see how experience and training got someone to a level of excellence that is so clearly beyond the norm, we default to labeling that person a "natural."
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136Greatness is many, many individual feats, and each of them is doable.
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137With everything perfect, we do not ask how it came to be. Instead, we rejoice in the present fad as though it came out of the ground by magic.
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138Our vanity, our self-love, promotes the cult of the genius. For if we think of genius as something magical, we are not obligated to compare ourselves and find ourselves lacking...To call someone divine means "here there is no need to compete" Nietzsche.
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139Do not talk about giftedness in born talents! One can name great men of all kinds who were very little gifted. They acquired greatness, became "geniuses" (as we put it)...They possessed that seriousness of the efficient workman which first leaves to construct the parts properly before it ventures to fashion a great whole; they allowed themselves time for it, because they took more pleasure in making the little secondary things well than in the effect of a dazzling whole. Nietzsche.
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140Effort factors into the calculations twice, not once. Effort builds skill. At the very same time, effort makes skill productive.
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141Goal Hierarchy (Graphic)
In very gritty people, most mid-level and low-level goals are in some way related to the ultimate goal. In contrast, a lack of grit can come from having less apparent goal structures.
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142Induldging in visions of a positive future without figuring out how to get there, chiefly by considering what obstacles stand in the way, has short-term payoffs but long-term costs.
Positive fantasizing.
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143Buffett career Goals
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144Once television became a household fixture, more kids started playing the game, trying left hand layups, crossover dribbles, graceful hook shots, and other skills that seemed routine among star players. And by getting better, each kid inadvertently enriched the learning environment for the kids he or she was playing against. Because one thing that makes you better at basketball is playing with kids that are a little more skilled.
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145Lectures don't have half the effect of consequences.
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146Passion for your work is a little bit of discovery, followed by a lot of development, then a lifetime of deepending.
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147Why are other people so important? For one thing, they provide the ongoing stimulation and information that is essential to actually liking something more and more. Also, more obviously, positive feedback makes us feel happy, completed, and secure.
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148Nobody works doggedly on something they don't find intrinsically interesting.
Before hard work comes play.
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149Experts and beginners have different motivational needs. At the start of an endeavor, we need encouragement and freedom to figure out what we enjoy. We need small wins. We need applause. Yes, we can handle a tincture of criticism and corrective feedback. Yes, we need to practice. But not too much and not too soon. Rush a beginner and you'll bludgeon their budding interest. It's very, very hard to get that back once you do.
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150The more I know, the less I understand.
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151Considering that all the studies showing that gritty people typically stick with their commitments longer than others, it seemed like the major advantage of grit was, simply, more time on task.
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152Some people get 20 years of experience, others get one year of experience, 20 years in a row.
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153Topic: Deliberate Practice.
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154As soon as possible, experts hungrily seek feedback on how they did. Necessarily, much of that feedback is negative. This means that experts are more interested in what they did wrong, so they can fix it, than what they did right. The active processing of this feedback is as essential as its immediacy (?)
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155Nobody wants to show you the hours and hours of becoming. They'd rather show the highlight of what they've become.
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156Grittier kids reported working harder than other kids when doing deliberate practice, but, at the same time, said they enjoyed it more than other kids, too.
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158The book Daily Rituals by Mason Currey describes a day in the life of 160 artists, scientists, and other creatives. If you look for a particular rule, such as "always drink coffee" or "never drink coffee," a "work only in your bedroom" or "never work in your bedroom," you won't find it. But if instead you ask "what do these creatives have in common?" you'll find the answer right in the title: Daily Rituals.
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157Basic requirements of deliberate practice:
A clearly defined stretch goal
Full concentration and effort
Immediate & informative feedback
Repetition with reflection and refinement.
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159Book: Daily Rituals by Mason Currey
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160"No pain no gain" isn't a rule that seems to apply to the preschool set.
A very young child doesn't seem tortured while they're trying to do things they can't yet do.
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161The more common sequence is to start out with a relatively self-oriented interest, then learn self-disciplined practice, and finally integrate that work with an other-centered purpose.
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162Aristotle was among the first to recognize that there are at least two ways to pursue happiness. He called one "eudaimonic"--in harmony with one's good (er) inner spirit (daemon)And the other "hedonic"--aimed at positive, in-the-moment, inherently self-centered experiences. Aristotle clearly took a side on the issue, deeming the hedonic rite primitive and vulgar, and upholding the eudaimonic life as noble and pure.
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163A lot of people assume that what they need to do is find their calling.
I think a lot of anxiety comes from the assumption that your calling is like a magical entity that exists in the world, waiting to be discovered.
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164Two years later, young people who mentioned both self- and other-oriented motives rated their schoolwork as more personally meaningful than classmates who'd named either motive alone.
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165David Yeager and his colleage Dan Parnesky (??) asked high school students "How could the world be a better place?" and then asked them to draw connections to what they were learning in school.
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166It isn't suffering that leads to hopelessness, it's suffering you think you can't control.
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167Learned optimism
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168Optimists habitually search for temporary and specific causes of their suffering. Whereas pessimists assume permanent and pervasive causes are to blame.
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169A one-year field study of MetLife insurance agents found that optimists are twice as likely to stay in their jobs, and that they sell about 25% more insurance than their pessimistic colleagues.
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170There was a small but growing body of scientific evidence that happiness wasn't just the consequence of performing well at work, it might also be an important cause.
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171Growth-oriented mindset
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172When you cask Carol where our mindsets come from, she'll point to people's personal histories of success and failure and how the people around them, particularly those in a position of authority, have responded to those outcomes.
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173Rat stress.
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174These limbic structures are regulated by higher-order brain areas, like the prefrontal cortex. And so, if you have an appraisal, a thought, a belief--whatever you want to call it,--that says "wait a minute! I can do something about this" or "This really isn't so bad!" or whatever, then these inhibiting structures in the cortex are activated. They send a message "cool it down there! don't get so activated. There's something we can do!"
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175We think there is plasticity in that circuitry. If you experience adversity--something pretty potent--that you overcome on your own during your youth, you develop a different way of dealing with adversity later on. It's important that the adversity be pretty potent. Because these brain areas really have to wire together in some fashion, and that doesn't happen with just minor inconveniences.
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176For the rewiring to happen, you have to activate the control circuitry at the same time as those low-level ones. That happens when you experience mastery at the same time as adversity.
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177Fragile Perfects
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178Growth Mindset-->Optimistic self-talk-->Perseverance over Adversity
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179To finish things, you have to put the work in. When I was younger, I'd meet many people who were writing stuff. They'd say to me "oh yeah, I'm a writer as well, but I've never finished anything!" Well, in that case, you are not a writer. You are just somebody who sits down and writes things on a bit of paper. If you've got something to say, go ahead and say it and finish it.
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180Illustration. X axis Undemanding--demanding. Y Axis Unsupportive--supportive.
Supportive and Undemanding: Permissive parenting
Unsupportive and Undemanding: Neglectful parenting
Unsupportive and Demanding: Authoritarian parenting
Supportive and demanding: Wise parenting.
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181I've been arguing that extracurricular activities are a way for young people to practice, and therefore develop passion and perseverance for long-term goals. But it's also possible that following through with extracurriculars is something only gritty people do. These explanations aren't mutually exclusive; it's entirely possible that both factors--cultivation and selection--are at play.
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182The hard thing rule:
1. Everyone has to do a hard thing.
2. You can quit (at a natural stopping point)
3. You get to pick your hard thing.
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183Talent is common--what you invest to develop that talent is the critical final measure of success.
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184The true joy in life is to be a force of fortune instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. GB Shaw
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185Harmony is aerodynamic
Will Smith
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